My Afrocentric, Androgynous Look to Celebrate IWD

So last week like i said earlier i was at the American embassy as a guest speaker and talked about 'Investing in Women'. After all was said and done, i got quite a lot of questions such as How i handled verbal and sexual abuse in relationships, at work, with clients or friends? How i got support to start my career when i was single? How i manage my career and family? How supportive is my husband? How did i find my voice?



So lets begin with 'how i found my voice?' i was 10years old and trying to get my immediate younger brother to do his chores but he didn't want to, i guess he was just trying to get me off balance so maybe its simply sibling rivalry. Nonetheless, my older brother got him to do his chores and he was more than glad to do it, it felt like i didn't exist. As young as i was, i felt a huge lump in my throat, he didn't do it because i was older than him?No, that was the wrong assumption. He didn't do it because i was his sister, a female. So i went to my dad and cried about the situation, and his resonating words to me were...... 'Never cry over a boy, younger or older, let him hear 'the command' in your voice and pitch, you have so much power in you that you don't even realize it' and boy oh boy.......that worked from that day onwards. So for me finding my voice followed probably the same path all female voices have had all along, only difference is that i was encouraged to have mine heard much earlier and its never too late for you too.



The next question would be the verbal and sexual abuse from partners. Good and bad relationships, i think almost every woman has gone through them at least once in her life and i too have had my share and paid my dues......however, its a matter of choice to stay with someone who appreciates you as a human being or simply walk away......i promise you walking away won't kill you....but on the contratry you have have a 100% plus chances of surviving.....someone once asked me what i would do if he decides to hit me?My response; 'whether you choose to be in a coma today is entirely up to you' and that was the end of that discussion. Besides, there is nothing simpler than avoiding people who don't respect you as a woman and you also most certainly don't like them nonetheless. Avoiding one's friends on the other hand, that's the real test, which you can definitely scale with an A+.

My husband.....what a question?....i have been asked repeatedly how he supports me and what led him to be comfortable with my career choice? The answer is simple, take out tradition or culture from the marriage. We realized that tradition or culture are both like principles or prayers; noble of course but very awkward at a party....if you know what i mean.... So we simplified our lives, agreed on a partnership since we are going to be permanent room mates and life became much easier than both of us ever expected. But then again, i must give him credit for being a very secured man emotionally, psychologically and mentally. This ladies, is only reason why a lot of men do not support their wives, majority of them are highly insecure individuals.

Finally, support for my career came from my mother, siblings,husband and kids, nonetheless i had to give them something to respect, admire, love and believe in to date. They understood that a female entrepreneur could and can create a female economy, and that is what would save generations ahead. Now you can understand the need to constantly surround yourself with positive minds even if they are family, friends or aquintances.